The Secret Sauce Podcast
Helping people build big businesses & live big lives - one ingredient at a time. That's our mission. Welcome to the Secret Sauce Podcast.
The Secret Sauce Podcast
They'll Always Remember How You Made Them Feel: The Psychology Behind World-Class Referrals
The difference between giving someone three options and confidently recommending one trusted provider is truly night and day. This seemingly small distinction in how we approach referrals dramatically affects how clients perceive our expertise and ultimately determines conversion rates.
Through revealing role-play scenarios, we demonstrate the psychological impact of different referral approaches. When you hand someone a list of "three good options" during a vulnerable moment (like receiving difficult news or navigating an unfamiliar process), you're actually giving them homework at the worst possible time. You're subtly signaling a lack of confidence in your recommendations and creating confusion for someone who likely "doesn't know what they don't know."
Your clients came to you specifically for your professional judgment and connections. When you confidently state, "There is only one person I would trust with this situation," and then facilitate that connection by having your referral partner reach out directly, you transform the experience. This approach demonstrates your expertise, eliminates work for your client, and showcases the strength of your professional network.
Building strong referral partnerships requires intentional communication. Start by asking potential referral partners a simple but powerful question: "How do you want to be referred?" This question immediately sets you apart and shows you're serious about delivering quality connections. Understanding their ideal client profile and preferred introduction process allows you to make strategic referrals that benefit everyone involved. This collaborative approach often leads them to ask you the same question in return, creating a cycle of high-quality referrals.
Remember Maya Angelou's wisdom: "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." When your referrals demonstrate confidence and care, clients don't just become customers—they become advocates who will mirror your approach when recommending you to others. Share this episode with anyone who could benefit from mastering the art of referrals in their business.
If you're listening to this, chances are you are in the business of giving referrals, receiving referrals. You're definitely in the world of referrals. What you might not know is there is truly an art form to giving referrals that can change everything. If you want to learn about that, this is going to be the episode for you. This is the Secret Sauce Podcast with Chad Treese and Lacey Moores, where we want to help people build big businesses and live big lives. We think every episode's going to maybe give you one ingredient that you can add to your recipe to create your own secret sauce. Let's get into it.
Lacey Moores:I am going to. We're going to go down one road of a referral and then another road. Okay, so, let me set the stage here and hopefully this doesn't offend anybody. But we are at a doctor's office and I am going to be the doctor and you're the patient, and I am coming to you to let you know we have some really bad news, okay, okay, so, um, it could be anything like I could make up a story.
Lacey Moores:Let's you know, I'm letting you know that you have cancer. Okay, um, and I'm going to refer you to somebody, so let's, we'll roll through that. I'm going to do a different one. Are you ready?
Chad Trease:Okay, I'm ready.
Lacey Moores:All right. Hey, chad, you know I've already told you about what we found with your scans, and the next step is going to be treatment, and I know this is a scary time. I want to give you three places that you could go. Here's all three of them. Just feel free to call around and choose whoever it is that you want to go work with, but that's going to be the next step from here, and I'm really sorry about everything that we found today, but these are going to be your next steps. Do you have any questions for me?
Chad Trease:So I have cancer and you're giving me some homework.
Lacey Moores:I'm giving you three places that you're going to be calling for treatment because that's your next step, right? And so how do you feel about that? What kind of feel? Well, don't answer that yet.
Chad Trease:Okay.
Lacey Moores:Let's do the next one and then you can compare them. Yep, okay, all right, here we go, so I'm coming back in. Hey, chad, I know we've already gone through everything that we just found out. I'm really sorry to tell you about that. Listen, there's a lot of options out there that you could go to for treatment, and I could give you a three on a piece of paper. Do you want to?
Chad Trease:know where I'd send my mom to, absolutely.
Lacey Moores:Yes, if this was my mom, in this situation, there is only one place I would send her to. There is only one place that I absolutely love, that I would completely trust your life with and in fact I can give you that information but I'm close with them. I'd love to actually call them. I'd love to have them reach out directly to you and set that appointment so they can get you in their schedule. How does that make you feel?
Chad Trease:Way different, for sure, yeah, I mean, if I'm still in the role play yeah, like tell me the difference between the two.
Chad Trease:Okay, so we're out of the role play now and I can just be honest with you. Like, yes, the the difference is night and day. Uh, but like the example number two, for sure, like automatically, like I feel a little bit more at peace that there is, um, somebody has a plan right, and that I don't have to come up with the plan and that the plan doesn't give me more work to do. Um, I want to know that there's an expert that has things handled and like I don't know what questions to ask when I call you know how do you pick, right Like yeah an oncologist or or whatever, like I wouldn't know what questions to ask.
Chad Trease:I wouldn't even know where to begin. It's like when we sit down with first time homebuyers and ask, like what question right off the bat, do you have any questions? And almost everybody, nine times out of 10, says what I don't even know, what I don't know, don't even know where to start Right. Exactly so, sending me to go ask questions that I don't even know and then try to make a comparison, I'm probably not going to call. I'm definitely not going to call all three?
Lacey Moores:How do you even pick right? Do you pick out of the three whoever's the first one listed and start Like? It just opens up so much confusion.
Chad Trease:Right.
Lacey Moores:Right and what should I be doing and what's the right way? I don't know how to pick between them. What's going to be the difference? Like it's just so much and in fact I think what it. What does it do? I'm not you to answer that. Going listening to those. How does it make you feel about me, the doctor in scenario one and scenario two?
Chad Trease:Yes, scenario one would make you feel like maybe I didn't pick the right doctor to begin with, because the whole reason I'm here is for you to direct where, what, what we're doing, right, right, uh, I came to you as the expert, right, and now I feel like you're kind of passing the buck a little bit and you don't it, it, it, it moves you down in my mind as far as an expert, um, I'm I'm now thinking of you a little bit less as an expert, um, and really just somebody who's, like can deliver some news and say, okay, here, go, do this thing and I'm going on to the next, versus I'm involved, I care and I've done the work to make sure that the next step is also one that is, you know, is not not it's going to be enjoyable to go like to an oncologist, probably, but that the next step in this process has already been predetermined for me and that they feel really, really confident about it, like, so it just instills confidence in me, um, and your choice in me right.
Lacey Moores:Like you have confidence in your choice and who you're working with, I have confidence in the plan.
Chad Trease:I have confidence in you. Um, yeah, it's night and day different, for sure, right, uh, point made for sure. Yeah, um, and there's a huge gap there in our businesses, everybody out there, whether it's real, talking to realtors, talking to lenders, whether they're referring inspectors or title companies or lenders or whatever it is, there is a huge difference and the analogy plays that you know across the board.
Lacey Moores:Right. I just think it's. There is an art to it and I think that people miss this. And I, I know, um, there's, there's training out there. You know, um, on the on the real estate side, realtors will be trained, that you have to give out three. And I, I always challenge that. I'm like do you give out three title companies? Do you give out three lenders? Do you give out three insurance companies? Do you give out three roofers? You know inspectors. No, I just three lenders, you know.
Lacey Moores:But regardless, it sets up a very confused person to then try to figure out what is the right play here, what is the right move. And so you know, for me as a lender, when I refer out, I'm not referring one client to three different realtors. I ain't going to do it to them. I'm going to figure out who's the best for that client, right, and make that type of introduction. And maybe it is. I rotate between several when I get those people, but I'm never going to put them up against three, because I feel like it makes me look like I'm not really sure who's going to be better for you. And I want that client to know listen, you're looking here, this is what you want, I have the perfect person that's going to take the best care of you. I work with a buck. This is the one. This is the one I would have take care of you, and it just brings so much more confidence in their trust in me and what they've hired me to do.
Chad Trease:Right, I'm with you a hundred percent. I've thought about this as well when I'm giving referrals to people. There was times for sure through my business that I was a little less sure of myself or I didn't want to come off as pushy or I didn't want them to think there was something in it for me. There's a lot of reasons why people don't kind of push the issue on that or aren't willing to take that leap of just being really monomaniacally focused on one person right, Versus giving, uh, multiple names and it's a cop out.
Lacey Moores:Well, yeah, let's talk about why they do it. You know they're worried, right, if it doesn't go well, that's a reflection on them. Well then, that needs I mean you need to be aware of the who you're referring, right, like, if you even have that thought process, maybe you're not, maybe you're not paired up with the right, you know relationship for them, right, and let's be completely transparent on that is that if you give 10 names and things don't go as planned and they choose one of those 10, they're still blaming you.
Chad Trease:So, it doesn't matter how many names you give, you know, and, and so you look just as bad if things don't go as well. So your very best plan of attack is to find the one person that you think that has the absolute lowest risk of things going bad and referring them to that one person either way, right? So yeah, so we can check that box. That's not a great reason to, but I do understand how people think that way.
Lacey Moores:Sure Well, I think it's good to bring it to light, because you know, then you go through that Um. Now you know when we are referring um or or just really anybody in general. You know the end of that, the second one that I told you. I asked if I could have them reach out to you.
Chad Trease:Right.
Lacey Moores:When I asked them if I could have them reach out to you. There's a couple things that I want to point out, why that piece is so important. If I give you the contact information, then it's up to you to make the connection. It's up to you to call. It's up to you to make the connection. It's up to you to call. It's up to you to figure that out. And sometimes, a lot of times, it doesn't always happen right, and in our businesses and stuff it's where conversion can definitely go down. But when we do it the other way and we say, hey, I'm going to have them call you, well, first of all it makes you feel a certain way.
Chad Trease:Yeah psychologically it's just different.
Lacey Moores:Yeah, you're going to do that for me, thank you, that's one less thing I have to do. They're going to call me Um, but then it also completely increases that conversion rate. You know, to be able to um, give your like for me, like we have a process, man, if we get a lead, we're going to, we're going to keep trying. You know it's not going to be one one and done.
Lacey Moores:We, you know it's not going to be one and done. We're going to keep trying, we're going to keep updating you, letting you know if we haven't been in connection with them and stuff. So there's just so much more to the art of referral and how you do it that can completely change someone's business for both think. If you are in a relationship where you're referring, this needs to be something that people talk through and people have discussions. Okay, you know, when I meet with a business referral or a CPA or I mean any type of person in business that I can refer, you know, my first question is always are you looking for a new business? Sure, that's important, right, looking for a new business?
Chad Trease:Sure, that's important right?
Lacey Moores:We want to know that piece. Yeah, yeah, I'm always looking to grow Perfect. How do you want to be referred? Tell me the best way somebody can refer you. And that could be a little bit different, right, depending on the business and whatnot. So I think it's such a valuable question, but I will tell you what as soon as I ask that, the mood between both of us change real quick, right, and they're like wow, nobody asked me that.
Chad Trease:Right, it becomes collaborative, yeah Right.
Lacey Moores:And okay, well, this is what I'm looking like. This would be the best way. Send them here, do this, do that. This is our process, because I want to know what their process is for sure. We all have different processes and we know what converts the best, and so get that piece. But you know what always happens after we get through that. Do you know what that person turns around and does?
Chad Trease:How do you want to get referred Right? It becomes right, I'm assuming. Yeah, absolutely, they ask the same question back.
Lacey Moores:They ask the same question back and that's you know, a big topic is making sure you give value first. Right, and my value will always be are you looking to grow? How can I help with that? And as they explain that I'm really thinking about in my sphere, in my business, in what I do. Could I help this guy? Could you know how could I do it? Am I going to run across people? Okay, cool, you are looking. How do you want me to get them to you? What does that look like? I have a CPA that I love and he's great and super high level, but I want to make sure, hey, are you going to be taking on just W2, you know, super simple tax returns?
Chad Trease:Who's your core client?
Lacey Moores:Yeah, Right, who do you want? Is your? Is your business set up to take on those Like? You want to know those things so that when you're referring and you do master that artery referral, you are sending them to the right place. You know and you know what they want. So I just think it's so much more than what people give referral credit for.
Chad Trease:Yeah, definitely. I think that they. The big missed piece for sure is how it elevates you. The person giving the referral elevates you in the mind of the person you're giving it to as the consummate pro right. Um, for as far as they're concerned, it starts to um, confirm that they chose the right person when they have their own network that they're going to tap you into, they're going to not give you homework to go and do.
Chad Trease:All of those things are absolutely crucial, but I think they're missed most of the time because it's so easy to say hey, here's a phone number, here's three names, whatever it is, reach out to them. They'll, even if you said like, even with conviction, and hey, they'll take great care of you. Whatever it is that you say, um, it is trumped a hundred times over by giving that referral in the way that it's like we have such a great relationship, they will call you within an hour. Um, you know that that's the relationship that we have. They're amazing. So expect a call from them within an hour. And you just set that up with the person and then, um, it becomes really, really powerful. Um, when they, when, then they start delivering on that, they're like wow, they said they'd call within an hour.
Lacey Moores:They called 20 minutes later, you know, and we're having this conversation, so um there's a ton of power and, yeah, anything I could do to call on or before that hour automatically now creates you again as so much value.
Chad Trease:Right.
Lacey Moores:Like people do what he says, they do, people do what he you know. It's just so much more value. It just puts you in just a whole nother level. And now people know that you're the trusted person for all these things, not just if you're the realtor here. You know the, the, the real estate side or this or that, like you're the go-to for all of it.
Chad Trease:Yeah, for me, when you, when you don't, when you give a referral that doesn't have the conviction to it, that doesn't have the system process to it, um it what it really does is it shows a lack of confidence, I think, and it creates a lack of confidence in the person that you're giving that referral to, which is huge and, um, I just think, man, if you can come off with that like that air of confidence, um, it just is going to elevate you in that person's mind and um, to me that's, that's everything you know instilling confidence in people that you, man, they made the right choice by hiring you, because you're just delivering in every way.
Chad Trease:They didn't know that they hired you to also deliver their network of people, and then they start rolling that out. It's like really rolling out the red carpet for people.
Lacey Moores:Makes it huge. Makes it huge. Well, I hope this helps. I think we could go on and on and on about the value behind. You know a good referral, but I think, no matter how long you've been in the business, you can sometimes fall into the easy slope right the easy or you could have been really good and kind of like not gotten away from it. I think, thinking truly about who you're in business with, do we align, do we grow something amazing and are we on the same page? And then continuing to work on that? You know I meet, I have an insurance guy that we have worked together for years, but we meet together and we talk about how we do with conversion and he'll ask me how is my team doing? Can we do better? Are we? Is there anything you know that we can change to get better? Like constantly working on those things to figure out how to fine tune it, how to make it better.
Chad Trease:Yeah, I think that, yeah, continuing to make it collaborative right as you go along, cause you're just going to have tweaks to it. For me, it's the fine details Like yes, you can run a great business by doing you know pretty good at giving referrals. The art, by making it an art form, by really tapping into these things, is when your business shines so much like more above the average right. It's those fine little details that people feel like they're taking care of at a completely different level and it makes them feel different. And that's what it's all about In my mind. At the end of the day, it's all about how you make people feel. And this just makes people feel completely different.
Chad Trease:And you will be surprised. They will start referring you, those clients that you referred. They will become a great because now you've given them an example of how a great referral looks. Yep, now they have a good. Just subconsciously, they have a great idea of how to refer to you. They're not going to give three names for a realtor. That customer is going to be so blown away and has seen what the power of a great referral looks like. And then you're kind of just paying it forward.
Lacey Moores:Yep Right. Well, they don't remember what you said, but they sure remember how they, how you made them feel Right.
Chad Trease:Yeah, officially, they don't. People will forget what you said, they'll forget what you did, but people will never forget the way you made them feel. As the Maya Angelou quote is my favorite. Sorry, I didn't mean to correct you, but it's my favorite quote in the world. So if there's one quote that I would correct you on, it would only be that one. But it's super powerful, right, and this is definitely.
Lacey Moores:It just hits the nail on the head on that.
Chad Trease:I'm glad we talked about it today. Guys, if you're going to do one thing from this episode, just really look at who your partners are right away. Look at who your partners are and, if you're referring with anything that shows any lack of confidence whatsoever, just start making those little tweaks super simple things to do. It will pay huge, huge dividends for your business. Absolutely. Thanks for tuning in, guys. Thanks guys. Share this with anybody that would find it helpful. We appreciate it and we will see you in a couple of weeks.
Lacey Moores:Thanks.
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